Last week, Josh shaved his beard. I'm not even sure when but I didn't notice. I found out through a mutual friend, who commented on Josh's updated, beardless Bitmoji. Yep, he didn't even see Josh and he knew through a text that Josh had shaved. I had seen Josh multiple times in person and saw all the Bitmojis and still didn't notice.
Life with twins and work and life has been a blur. The best possible blur, but a blur nonetheless. However, I'm no longer holding that as an excuse. Over the past month, I've attended a few workshops through various entrepreneur groups I'm involved with and the theme has been resounding: take back your life.
It hit me, while attending one of these workshops, that I've been using my crazy schedule as an excuse. An excuse from growing. An excuse from pursuing the type of clients I want to work with. An excuse for connecting with what's really important in my life: family and friends.
If I'm being really honest, I used my most precious gift, my girls, as an excuse for why I couldn't possibly grow my business.
It hurts to realize the truth, but sometimes it takes that realization to really make a change.
So this Mother's Day we packed it all up and took our crazy fam bam to the mountains. To pretend it was a Pinterest moment would be lying. In reality, it was more like spilled juice all over the carseats, our new rescue dog destroying our Airbnb and not getting any sleep because the twins refuse to sleep in pack and plays.
And it was perfect.
As I've stretched myself and got brutally honest about my excuses in life I've come to realize that I can't do it alone but I can ask for help. I can lean on God. I can say no to things that are a maybe and not a yes. I can focus on the things I'm truly passionate about and stop letting that little voice tell me life's too crazy right now to do this or that.
In reality, life is only going to get harder. I've learned that as a mother. Oh how I wish it were the baby days again when it was easier to juggle twins then it is now in the toddler years. And from what I hear, year three only gets harder.
So I'm leaning into the hard stuff. Learning where to put up boundaries so that I can be both present with my girls and kickass at work. I'm connecting with other women who are in the trenches, navigating this new world of the working from home mom. I'm encouraged by their stories, successes and grit.
And mostly, I'm no longer feeling sorry for myself but determined to soak up these sweet toddler messes before they are teenagers and think I'm lame. And I'm also fiercely determined to do the work God has called me to do so that I can be an example for my daughters. So that they know they can achieve whatever God puts on their hearts and they can do it with grace and love and humility and still be mothers and sisters and wives and friends.
I'm thankful for my husband for always encouraging me and believing in me. I'm thankful for the tribe of women I've met who are redefining success and work-life balance. I'm thankful for the women who went before us and paved the way. I'm thankful for my little twinadoes for teaching me to be in the moment and laugh from your belly. I'm thankful for the struggle so that I can begin to make a change and be fully present. I'm thankful.